Back to Work
Going back to work after having my baby was one of the most stressful experiences I’ve ever had in my life. Especially the first day, actually being away from her. My anxiety levels were at an all-time high all night and morning, until I got that first reassuring text from my mum, who was helping us with the little one that day. Then it started going down very slowly as I realised that my baby was actually going to be fine in the end (as was I) - but the amount of anxiety that went through that day (and in the days running up to it) was staggering nevertheless.
Apart from the anxieties to do with leaving your baby ‘alone’ for an extended period - possibly for the first time since you had it - there are the external pressures that add to these, such as from managers, miscommunications and tensions caused by lack of clear information about maternity leave and breastfeeding rights, and everything in between. I wholeheartedly wish I knew more about my rights at the time. Knowledge is power, after all, as they say. But it can also be anxiety alleviation, in this case, So I am sharing my top tips here, in the hope these help other mums going through the same anxiety-filled moments in the run up to the end of and post-maternity leave:
Find your community - If you have anxieties about this, you’re definitely not alone, but things will most likely work out just fine. I had many different worries, the chief one being my little one not taking milk from a bottle when I was away. But everywhere I looked, mums with more experience were saying it would still be fine, even if she didn’t take to it straight away. In most cases like this, babies readjust to the new routine pretty quickly and make up the milk deficit when you get back from work for a few days.
Although my anxieties still partly haunted me with this knowledge in mind (I had to see it for myself, of course), it was certainly reassuring to hear this from numerous other mothers who’d already gone through this. The Peanut app and my regular playgroup mums were my main sources of information on this.
Prepare, do your research - There was so much I just didn’t know about my rights as a mother - even well into my maternity leave - as I realised only once I ran into difficulties.
For example, did you know that you can go back to maternity (or Shared Parental Leave) if you have not used it all the first time round? You just have to plan it out ahead of time. I nearly missed out on it, because I didn’t prepare well enough in advance, so now I feel like it’s kind of my mission to tell other new mums about it. My HR department was fairly understanding, so they allowed me to apply for Shared Parental Leave with just 2 weeks’ notice, but the standard timeframe for this is usually 8 weeks. So, if you’re considering it, make sure that you research your options and prepare in advance to avoid unnecessarily missing out on all your available leave.
You can take SPL even if your partner cannot (certain forms of employment are not eligible, sadly). It can simply provide a more flexible way to consider maternity/parental leave these days. If you’re considering it, you can find lots of useful information on the ACAS website. I also found helpful advice through a range of great charities, including Maternity Action, Pregnant then Screwed, and Working Families
Do the Math - It is an unfortunate reality that many households will struggle financially during the early years due to very high costs of childcare in UK. Double check your individual or joint income carefully, deducting tax and NI, and factoring in new childcare costs. This will help you budget appropriately.
Nursery places for younger babies are more expensive due to the child-carer ratios. Some families may find nursery is not economically-feasible until your baby reaches the eligible age for the government's free childcare hours.
Talk - Whether it’s to the mothers in your immediate community, to any of these organisations, or to another source of professional legal advice, building your knowledge and contact base is key to feeling supported if or when you find that you need. The legal frameworks are not always easy to navigate, considering there are multiple relevant pieces of legislation and their wording is not necessarily straightforward, or at least not in all cases. So it is essential not to isolate yourself on this new and often challenging journey that motherhood undoubtedly can be, especially at times like this.
Get activated and involved! - I was an activist before my motherhood journey started, so it was easy for me to get involved again (even if in the first few months postpartum, I felt like I would never find the time and energy again!). Not everyone has to be an activist, but there are many ways to get involved and create change. Personally, I found that having a practical outlet for my anger at the world’s injustices, such as low maternity pay or convoluted legal frameworks, is a great way to avoid bottling up the negative emotions.
Once I realised just how hard it was going to be to pick up my career where I left it after becoming a mother, I just had to get involved again. Even though I tried looking at the bright side, telling myself how lucky we were to get 12 months off in the UK (in my head, always comparing it to the dreaded US system), the reality of how the current maternity leave system disadvantages mothers really hit me when I tried going back to work early and found my management highly inflexible - so much so that I quickly ended up going back on maternity (or SPL, to be precise).
Plus, who can really sustain themselves on £800/month (not to mention, that doesn’t run for the full 12 months; and let’s not even start on the cost of nurseries…) in 2026?!
I found my outlet in blogging for Mamma Bamboo initially and then getting involved in promoting campaigns, such as that on flexible working by Organise.Network. So, whether activism is your ‘thing’ or not, I’m sure you can find an outlet that suits you, too. If you don’t feel like joining the picket lines, writing can be a good start, or just spreading the word to other mums in your local playgroups.
Get grounded - Times like these can be a major source of stress for you and your family. So it is more important than ever to find and reach for what grounds you. Whether it’s your mum’s community or your family, journaling or meditation that works for you, ensure that it becomes part of your daily self-care regimen. For me, it was my mum friends who reminded me that, even in the worst case scenario, if things at work didn’t work out, it would mean that I could, importantly, have more time with my baby - and so many more moments of joy in between the daily messes and nappy changes! This gradually became almost like my mantra, grounding me in what’s most important. And it was my family who provided reassurance that, whatever happens, we will be ok at the end of the day. It was my journal (and podcasts!) that provided solace during the long sleepless evenings.
If you feel like you need a bit of extra help, don’t forget that you can also reach out further. As new mums, many of us find it challenging to deal with the anxieties alone at times. So don’t be afraid to also reach out for the professional help available if you feel like you need it. There are many sources - you can find that extra support through your GP, health visitor, and organisations like Mothers Uncovered.
All in all, I hope that this short guide to navigating the challenges of maternity leave will be helpful to at least some other new mums. Personally, I found the maternity system quite complex to navigate, so if this list provides a useful starting point for other mums finding themselves in similar predicaments, I will have achieved my goal here.
